A future unexpected

img_3989The picture shows what was in a fortune cookie as my husband and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.
“A thrilling adventure is in your near future” and “You will accomplish great things in your free time this week.”

We decided to get away for our anniversary leaving our 12 year old behind with a friend’s family.  It was an amazing time as we spent it together, holding hands, taking a dinner cruise, strolling the pier.  I am not one to believe everything the fortune cookie tells me but I thought these were interesting.  What I didn’t know was what the thrilling adventure was in my near future.  When I think of a thrilling adventure, I think of something awesome, exciting and fun.  Unfortunately, my thrilling adventure meant losing him just 2 months later.  Thrilling became more of horror and uncertainty as I faced a life without him.  The unknowns and whys haunted me.  The days surrounding his death and the funeral are somewhat of a blur.  Medicated and kept busy by friends and family caused me to just walk in a fog and I couldn’t wake to go to sleep at night because I knew that I made it through the day.  I had to learn how to live without him, maintain a house, pay the bills and raise our daughter all alone.  The memories that we shared are embedded into my mind and it is what keeps me going.  We have so many great ones and now that I have almost made it through the first 365, I embark on this blog journey to continue writing.  Writing has been a good therapy for me.  It helps me to express my faith and it reminds me of the strength that God is giving me.  I hope that the words that I say are meaningful to at least one person.